Am I Being Nice or Am I Being Real?

Deb Halvorson

The next time you have a conversation with your partner, boss, close friend, or family member honestly ask yourself “Am I being nice or am I being real?” Think about it. What does it mean to be “nice”? What does it mean to be “real”?


What happens if being “nice” means you can’t be real? Perhaps you try to make everyone happy and avoid conflict so you’re “nice”. It’s just easier that way, right? What happens then to your personal authenticity?


What happens if being “real” means you can’t be nice? Perhaps you believe in telling your truth and being honesty at all costs, even if it causes anger or hurt feelings. You’re being “real”, but at what cost. Are you forfeiting your kindness?

What’s the gray area between nice and real? Give it some thought – it's there. It’s that space where you can be nice AND real. It's that space where you can be your authentic self AND be honest and kind.

As you go about your interactions and conversations this week, see if you can find your gray area and show up nice AND real.

Go back