What Is It To Be Resilient?

Deb Halvorson

There’s a Japanese proverb that says “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” That’s the definition of resilient. Every time we get back up we become more resilient. BUT here’s my question: If we keep falling down, why do we keep getting up? Why don’t we just stay down there? We’re going fall again, right? What’s the point of all this getting up? There must be a point or we all would have stopped getting up a long time ago, right? What drives us to keep getting up?

The answer is Hope and Connection. The Hope that it will get better and the Connection with someone who knows it will. Hope comes from experience. We experience hope every time someone shares a “fall down” story with us. It helps us get back up. We experienced hope every time our mom told us “it will be ok”. Hope comes from those around us. Maybe they’ve gone through the same struggle or maybe they simply know every struggle passes. They give us their hope. With their Hope, we become resilient.

But here’s the catch: We cannot receive Hope without a Connection to others. We connect with others by TALKING ABOUT OUR STRUGGLES. When we share our struggles with a trusted friend, we give meaning to the friendship AND provide the opportunity for them to pass along their Hope. “We have to be willing to break in order to become” writes author Jeanette LeBlanc. Where there’s Connection, there’s Hope and then Resilience follows (hope + connection = resilience).

This week, let’s notice how many times we get back up and notice who provided us the hope and connection to do so. Then, share your resilience with another.

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